Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Awas (rada) galau!

I found this quote on my tumblr dashboard:
"It's hard to forget someone who gave you so much to remember."
Hmm.. ya ya, agak galau sih ya. Tapi entah kenapa kutipan tersebut kayanya sesuai banget dengan apa yang saya alami beberapa tahun ini. Kutipan itu juga seolah-olah telah berhasil 'menjawab' pertanyaan yang selama ini seakan membebani pikiran saya.

The thing is, there's a person that I probably will never forget. But you're wrong if you think that he's my ex lover or whatsoever. Nope, he's just a good friend of mine. Sadly, he's a friend that I ever hurt..

Yaa kami berdua bisa dibilang temen deket sih, meskipun masih dalam tahap wajar. Dia orangnya enak diajak ngobrol lewat ym, sms maupun telepon. He's definitely a fun guy to hang out with. Namun suatu saat, saya tanpa sengaja menyakiti hatinya. Dia sempat merasa sangat tergantung pada saya akan suatu hal, namun bodohnya saya waktu itu hanya menganggap remeh 'ketergantungannya' itu. Akibatnya, saat semuanya terlambat dan mimpi dia 'hancur', dia pun sangat kecewa dan marah pada saya dan kami sempat beradu mulut sehingga pada akhirnya saling menjauhi dan saling mendiamkan.

I'm so regretful at that time, I feel so bad, so guilty. I lost a bestfriend because of my own stupidity. I begged him to forgive me, and yes, he was forgiving me.. but we never be as close as we used to.

Now it's been 4 years since our 'fighting' and he's thousand miles away now... but I'm still thinking of him from time to time and also dreaming about him in some nights all of these years.

Some says that dreams are the reflection of what we've always wanted, something that we keep deep down inside our heart. So, does it mean that I'm still 'into' him? Still felt guilty? I don't understand why'd he always pops up in my dream, even when I wasn't thinking about him at the day before. I found it weird and inexplicable. But now, the quote makes me realize what's the answer for all of my question about him, about why I can't get rid of him out of my mind even though now I'm already with someone whom I love and feel comfortable with.. Yes, he gave me so much to remember. We've been through the silly, fun and hilarious moments together. He's the reason I went to school everyday with smile on my face, wondering what's crazy things he would do on that day :p

He never failed to make me laugh, he was so hilarious and annoying at the same time. Haha.
And, yeah, that's why I never be able to forget him.

Sumpah ini post galau banget haha.

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